Thursday, May 19, 2005

Things that I let go.....

5xmom wrote this in her comment in one of my entries:

"...Sometimes, we so busy with being mothers, we forget we were an individual/woman/girl/child once"

That makes me look back and think again about the things that I did in the past. I knew when I said 'yes' (or rather "are you serious? Well that would be great!") to my man, life would definitely change. It changed a lot more when we decided to embark on parenthood.

I'm a geologist and geologists study rocks. The job takes them places and that is one thing that I like about this job. If before having kids, we (hubby has became a very efficient field assistant cum engineer cum cameraman cum driver cum 'kuli angkat barang') just packed and off we went to anywhere with a very short notice. But it is a lot different now.

Since I just started working in this department, at the moment I'm just applying for some grants to continue my research and while waiting for that, I'd just love it if someone can invite me to join/help out a bit with their project, something small ... a day-trip or somewhere that is possible to bring the whole locomative.

Upon voicing my attention, I received an invitation to study Sipadan. I almost jumped with excitement. While looking at the possibility to bring hubby and the girls along, I got to know that the trip is scheduled from 1st to 8th June. We had to withdraw as we have already some commitments.

Later I received a call from one of the professors saying that the second trip will be in September. I was so excited thinking with the time that we have, we can plan better. I spread the news to hubby, and here's part of the conversation:

mama22beas: Abe, you know what...they are going for the second trip in September. This time we sure can make it, right? I'm so excited already!

papa22beas: Aren't you forgetting something?

mama22beas: What ah?

papa22beas: When is your due date? Remember...your due date?

mama22beas: Oh sh* could I not even think about it? September...I may not even get into any flight...ah well, preggo brain is at work.

Well looks like it is not going to happen. I foresee similar incidences in the future. Do I regret it? No, off course not...anyway, frankly I feel a bit dissapointed when I had to withdraw from something that has always been exciting, things that I would never get enough with. But how about motherhood...the joy is undescribable, the things that I have to let go is nothing compared to the joy that the kids bring. I know I also dissapoint people who see the potential in me, who have high hopes to see me successful in my career but I have made a point that I do things at my own time and pace, and in my own way. And to the head of the Sipadan project (the one who said I should stop at 2 kids) who just exclaimed "Masyaallah (what he meant was "what...AGAIN????")" minutes ago, I will prove something to day!


Blogger Twinsmom said...

hahaha...this is very funny...mama forgot she is pregnant witht he 3rd wan, too experience take it for granted already? hahaha...sorry, just kidding, no offence.
I always feel so amaze and amuse when read your blog.

4:28 PM  
Blogger 5xmom said...

Hahaha, busy until terlupa pregnant ke? Last time, 5 mths pregnant you go caving, now want to break record, 9 mths pregnant, go Sipadan.

11:01 PM  
Blogger Mama22Beas said...

Don't worry about that, twinsmom. Now baby kicks more often, maybe to remind mama not to be too gila!
5xmom..not really busy, no morning sickness plus I'm still small, wait another month then I won't terlupa.

4:07 PM  

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