Monday, June 15, 2009

Boredom kicks off!

Once during one of the confinements in my hometown, I received a call from hubby who was in PJ. He said without us around he didn't know what to do esp. during the weekend. He tried to drive around but ended up just driving around with no specific destination. The house was just too quiet. He could not hang out with friends as at this stage they also have families of their own.

And I also hated that, being away from him. And that moment I wish I have all the help to have my confinement at our place. And now with Bea1's schooling we have a reason just for that. At the moment mom and a sister are with us and I'm so grateful for that.

But mind is constantly thinking about work. I planned to leave the office as if I'd only return two months after that. I was sure that I would at least have another week in the office.

My ob said, I was just in denial and just brushed all the symptons as false alarms. I think she was right, I just had too many things to do!

Planned to get everything done and return to a very tidy office. Now I even dread thinking about entering it.

After I settled down from the surprises and the excitement of having the baby too early, I thought I was getting a nervous breakdown whenever I thought about the way I left a lot of things undone. That also means I need to get a lot of helps from a lot of people and I hate asking for help.

I sent hubby to my office room to get things but with the mess, it's just hard to instruct him to get everything I need.

I even feel sad when I saw my extra buttermilk expiring in the fridge. I planned to bake another cake with it.

I have a colleague who asked what she can do to help a few times. I received an sms on conference day from someone, telling me that my presentation will be taken care of. He didn't know that I had earlier begged another guy to convince him that he would be ok doing it and I managed to prepare the presentation right after coming back from the hospital.

I also asked a colleague to fetch Bea1 from KAFA and send her to school, and my sister to send and fetch her to/from the condo front gate. No choice for Bea2and Bea3, they have to skip kindy.

I finally gave a call to my student on Friday and asked her to come over to settle a few things. I'm supposed to submit a paper for publication to a prof for the first review on last wednesday, but I only have a few diagrams to edit and I don't have a particular software in my laptop. I may ask her to come again to get it installed by someone in the office.

And today, I reluctantly made another call again for some help. I was totally surprised of how helpful some of the staffs after knowing about my condition, even though we didn't know them well. And I was told to get more rest for the 1567th time today;).

And I think I have had enough rest and I start missing my routine again, no matter how busy it is. That combined with the unsettled works (and baking stuffs in the kitchen are tempting too) make me yearn to move around again.

But then again, once I start working...I'm sure I'd miss being home with the kids too. Normal for working moms, I guess;).

Even though mom and sis help, I still find it hard to ask them to do this and that. Mom won't be here for too long and my sister is waiting for a reply from a job interview. If she gets it, the other kids will go to the babysitter and I hope by then mom would allow me to walk up and down to the gate to fetch/send Bea1...or better still, DRIVE on my own!

See, confinement to me is like being half-paralyzed. Anyway, no matter how bored I am now...I remind myself that there are always things that make me feel grateful!

And we finally have a name...we were stuck with a routine again. Thought of sticking to Adel as first name, but I love Rayyan too much. And I don't really like the idea of calling the baby with the second name. After a few days of arguing, hubby gave Saturday as the dateline and we finally came out with this: Atef Rayyan

Atef means kind, compassionate or caring. And again Rayyan is the gate of one heaven.

Some progress: after birth till right now, he has not established a specific routine except for from 12 to 5 am, he would wake up to nurse 4 times *Yawn!*. He is just busy gulping milk and growing!. He has no problem, pooing 4 times day, never resurgitate (except for amniotic fluid at the hosp, I never put on any minyak telon and such on his tummy...I will surely kena if mom-in-law got to know about this, and the babysitter too!). He hates being bundled too.


Blogger chanelwong said...

nice name n beautiful baby...
salute to you... mum with 5 kids....

4:03 PM  
Blogger Moo mommy said...

nice and unique name.

why must put minyak? i never use too andyet nag by the old loh... LOL

2:14 PM  
Anonymous lillian said...

love the meaning of the name. Hes beautiful! ha, at this stage you can still say it.. my boys 13 and 8 would die if I said that haha !!!

10:00 AM  
Blogger Ms. W said...

wow soon-to-be mum of 5. how do you manage especially with a job like that? i'm already going crazy and always wondering if i will fail being a mum LOL

11:37 PM  
Anonymous lilian said...

I sepuluh hari beranak c-sec dah boleh drive. Hehehe, still intact jugak. But terpaksa drive cos when I had Matthew, my c-sec wound kena infection cos I mandi kat hospital on the fourth day. Every morning, I drove to the hospital for dressing. My doc said (both times actually, after the fourth baby I pun drive jugak) as long as we don't feel pain or giddy, boleh drive. Lilian, the devil's advocate. Hehehe.

6:53 PM  
Blogger mama23beas said...

Thanks Chanel.

Moo Mommy...though I believe minyak tu tak penting, part of me takut-takut juga to go against what is the norm for our old folk practise.

Lillian...yes, I expect that too...but we keep on calling them that as long as we can right?;)

Ms W...already 5 times mom la. Thanks for dropping by here...I love to have many kids, so I must be positive. But frankly sometime can't help it, I got that negativethought about failing too.

Lil...argh...dengki la dengan u ni. Last time with Bea2, I drive on the 35th day. Let's see if I can pujuk my mom to allow me drive sooner.

4:19 PM  

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