Monday, April 10, 2006

My lil' brother was a blue baby

I've read Shamira's blog about her lovely little baby, Inarah and it brought back some memories.

I was around 11 when I found out that mom was pregnant again. It was her 10th child.
I started to love small babies/kids since I was a small kid myself and I got all excited with the idea that there would be another baby in the house soon.

Mom said he was in a breech position but the birth went well. He was such a lovely baby, with fair skin and round head.

One of the nurses asked my mom to 'borrow' him for a demo to firt-time mothers at the hospital on how to bathe the baby. Soon after he was returned to mom, she noticed that he had a bluish mark on his buttock. It didn't give alarm to mom as the baby just looked fine. She was just eager to go back home to start off the confinement.

I was telling everybody in school that I had a new baby brother. I fell in love with him the first time I set my eyes on him. While my other elder sisters were away working and some were staying in hostels, I was the only one that my mom could rely to help around.

Around 4 pm on his first day at home, my little brother started to cry. Mom placed him on my lap, as she had to get a massage that she believed would bring the milk faster.

The cry continued till 6 pm, and we could see the blue patch was enlarged.

At 8 pm, more patches appeared. I have no idea what my parents were thinking but the decision to bring him to the hospital was not made yet.

I woke up at 2 am, and stood at the door of my mom's room. I saw her holding the baby, he was completely blue to me. He looked like he was still crying but I could not hear the voice anymore.

Amisdt the tears, mom handed the baby to my sister and off she went to the hospital with my father.

At 10 am at school, a teacher asked me to go back home. No other thing was mentioned but I know it was something dreadful.

I saw other relatives arrived, but still no one explained a thing to me.

I sat by mom's side in her room when my father came in. He looked calm and said something was just not right with the baby. Mom wanted everything cleared to her and asked if the baby was gone. Father nodded and went out the room.

It was 22 year ago, and as a 12-year-old, I really had no idea what my mom had gone through. To me, it was no fun at all coming from school to my mother who was following the strict confinement practise, but without the baby.

I started to read Reader's Digest, from there a lot of stories were told on how modern medicine saved lives of young babies with heart problems (that's when I found the blue baby term), or pre-mature babies that were born at 24 weeks.
I began to understand that the hospital in the small town just didn't have such facilities, and mom was never educated on such a thing and I also learned from mom that's what Allah decided for her.

Now, being a mother myself, though I'd never went through what my mom did, I just could not stop the tears while typing this. The image when she passed the baby to my sister, the look on her face was telling that it was the last time she hold the baby alive.

But I have high hope with what we have in the hospitals now and also reading others experiences. And Shamira, again I want you to know that baby Inarah and you are always in my prayers.

Added: Normally mom would listen to others before naming her kids, but she silently decided on a name right after the birth of the baby. It was Helmi, and we call him Baby me, he resembled Bea3, now it brings a smile on my face


Blogger geetha said...

I was saddened just reading your post. I am sorry bout your brother. I can imagine how your mum fetl.

Yeah, now, with all those technology, we can help these babies.

Baby Inarah is doing real great with a wonderful mum like Shamira. God's blessing with them always.

5:25 PM  
Anonymous a&a'smom said...

That is indeed so sad. So sorry.

7:03 PM  
Blogger Zara's Mama said...

OH.. this is such a sad post.. So sorry about your baby brother..

We just hope with mothers more well read, hospitals more accessable, such tragedies would be reduced.

12:51 AM  
Blogger ninuk said...

baby helmi is now waiting for your Mom. sad isn't it. and i've been following Shamira's Inarah story as well. my elder sis gave birth to her 3rd boy last 2 weeks. suppose Baby Faiz also got some heart issue and going to IJN this coming week. kesian, at such a young age these babies hv to go thru' a looot of tests.

6:09 PM  
Blogger FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

It was a very sad memory for you. In this era, things are more advanced and mothers are much more aware of baby care.

10:20 AM  
Blogger Shamira said...

Oh Ros,

So sorry about your baby brother. I believe that its all in Allah's hands. He decides and we are clueless as to the reason why HE does the things HEdoes. Only he knows best.

Thanks again for keeping me and Inarah in your prayers.

1:16 PM  
Blogger Queen Of The House said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:55 PM  
Blogger Queen Of The House said...

Sad memories but beautifully written. Your little brother is waiting for your mom up there, and I hope she took comfort in that knowledge.

Fortunately for mothers now, the medical facilities are much better equipped, and information abounds. All it takes is some efforts to equip ourselves with the knowledge.

We had a scare in the family last year ... my niece had to undergo a series of operations at IJN for a heart condition. One thing after another went wrong. But the medical team was superb and with Allah's grace, she pulled through.

1:58 PM  
Blogger domesticgoddess said...

am so sorry to hear about your brother..

1:34 PM  
Blogger mummydarling said...

your post has brought me to tears... I don't think I can cope if I were in that situation. Nauzubillah

12:55 PM  
Blogger Mama22Beas said...

Geetha...that time I asked why only the US (from Readers Digest;)) had all the technologies, and not in my small town. But looking at my mom who was just calm and accepting Allah's will, it didn't matter anymore.

QOTH and Ninuk...yes, Baby Helmi is waiting for my mom and that thought really is comforting to all of us.

mummydarling...thanks for visiting. We can only pray.

Thanks everyone. Though the thought about Baby Helmi brought tears to my eyes, I normally feel better after visiting his little grave. I'm glad to had been entrusted by mom to take care of him, to be able to hold him even only for a while.

4:31 PM  

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