Can't say no

The pic is not related to the entry. It is just my favourite raya photo.

Ok, got a plane to catch at 0820 and another day of conference but I'm all awake now. I got up to do some laundry, remembered something that happened before I slipped into dreamland while getting Adel to bed. I managed to say goodnight to Bea2 and Bea3 but not my eldest.

She asked me to buy her new Peter and Jane book. I told her to make sure that she got every word right from the last book. I was busy cleaning up after dinner when she picked up the book, she asked me to be by her side, I was sure she wanted to prove she could do it but I just moved around and told her to read aloud. Then, Adel signalled that he wanted mama, I told Bea1 that I would get back to her but I just got konked out!

I kissed my sleeping bigger baby, and apologised and I really did feel bad about it. That's one reason why I love travelling. In 'rumah hotel' I have no worries about chores, during the last trip we managed to do more reading together.

I have put a limit of what I'm going to do for the next two years or so, as a preparation for Bea1 to enter Std 1. I believe I have to brush up my skill of saying 'no'.

For these two conferences, a prof called me when I was in my maternity leave, asking what I would present in one of them. I said I was not sure of going, he persuaded and though he is from other uni, I consider him as my teacher and I can't say no to him. I just blurted out something, and that was it. My attendance was confirmed. So, that's the reason why I was still working on my presentation while I should be by the beach helping the girls building sand castle. Well hubby was there.



I was a bit quiet for the last few years in that particular area of research. And on the first day of the second conference, a Deputy Vice Chancellor who used to head the research team came to me, told me that he wanted to talk to me over lunch. He kind of gave me the ultimatum that from now on I should be a 'core' member in the team. He sensed my reluctance but he would talk more on how to manage things.

There are the people, my teachers, those that I looked up to and I can't say no to. Just before leaving I jokingly warned the DVC that I wanted to have two more babies, I would work for the research but it should not intefere with my other 'project';).

It is sometimes overwhelming but somehow I think we will be ok. Hubby says we will too, and I trust him.

Will make the most out of the last day of the conference. And I'm buying new Peter and Jane, anyway!