Thursday, April 20, 2006

Payback time!

I had students falling asleep on me during my lectures and talking to one another like I do not exist. One student came to see me to ask for some advices for his oral presentation, but kept receiving and sending SMSes while talking to me.

A lot of times I feel like throwing them out from my lectures or my room but I am just too soft and nice.

I'd ask them if they got any questions, and always ask them to see me if they want to discuss more about anything.

But only a few do that.

Beginning from two weeks ago, we started to have tests before the final exams.

And during the tests, I saw some of them scratching their heads, restless and whenever they had questions to ask, my reply would always be "You can ask me if you don't understand the questions, not ask for their answers".

Then, I tried to hide my smile and thought (and laughed silently) "It's payback time...Muahahahah...."

Now, I'm busy marking their exam papers...and enjoying myself with some rather funny answers. I put down the marks and thought "It's payback time...muahahah"

Didn't I tell everyone that I just love my job.

Anyway, on a serious note...I must seriously improve my teaching, am still trying on how to tackle the students.

Added: This morning we had the final exam, while others were finding their ways out of the exam hall, one student came to me and thanked me for all the instructions. One out of 55. I was flabbergasted and speechless. He was the one who looked sincere and admitted that he just could not grasp at the beginning of the course. After some personal coaching, think he did well.
Well...that makes it all worthwhile!

Monday, April 10, 2006

My lil' brother was a blue baby

I've read Shamira's blog about her lovely little baby, Inarah and it brought back some memories.

I was around 11 when I found out that mom was pregnant again. It was her 10th child.
I started to love small babies/kids since I was a small kid myself and I got all excited with the idea that there would be another baby in the house soon.

Mom said he was in a breech position but the birth went well. He was such a lovely baby, with fair skin and round head.

One of the nurses asked my mom to 'borrow' him for a demo to firt-time mothers at the hospital on how to bathe the baby. Soon after he was returned to mom, she noticed that he had a bluish mark on his buttock. It didn't give alarm to mom as the baby just looked fine. She was just eager to go back home to start off the confinement.

I was telling everybody in school that I had a new baby brother. I fell in love with him the first time I set my eyes on him. While my other elder sisters were away working and some were staying in hostels, I was the only one that my mom could rely to help around.

Around 4 pm on his first day at home, my little brother started to cry. Mom placed him on my lap, as she had to get a massage that she believed would bring the milk faster.

The cry continued till 6 pm, and we could see the blue patch was enlarged.

At 8 pm, more patches appeared. I have no idea what my parents were thinking but the decision to bring him to the hospital was not made yet.

I woke up at 2 am, and stood at the door of my mom's room. I saw her holding the baby, he was completely blue to me. He looked like he was still crying but I could not hear the voice anymore.

Amisdt the tears, mom handed the baby to my sister and off she went to the hospital with my father.

At 10 am at school, a teacher asked me to go back home. No other thing was mentioned but I know it was something dreadful.

I saw other relatives arrived, but still no one explained a thing to me.

I sat by mom's side in her room when my father came in. He looked calm and said something was just not right with the baby. Mom wanted everything cleared to her and asked if the baby was gone. Father nodded and went out the room.

It was 22 year ago, and as a 12-year-old, I really had no idea what my mom had gone through. To me, it was no fun at all coming from school to my mother who was following the strict confinement practise, but without the baby.

I started to read Reader's Digest, from there a lot of stories were told on how modern medicine saved lives of young babies with heart problems (that's when I found the blue baby term), or pre-mature babies that were born at 24 weeks.
I began to understand that the hospital in the small town just didn't have such facilities, and mom was never educated on such a thing and I also learned from mom that's what Allah decided for her.

Now, being a mother myself, though I'd never went through what my mom did, I just could not stop the tears while typing this. The image when she passed the baby to my sister, the look on her face was telling that it was the last time she hold the baby alive.

But I have high hope with what we have in the hospitals now and also reading others experiences. And Shamira, again I want you to know that baby Inarah and you are always in my prayers.

Added: Normally mom would listen to others before naming her kids, but she silently decided on a name right after the birth of the baby. It was Helmi, and we call him Baby me, he resembled Bea3, now it brings a smile on my face

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

It's all about getting them occupied...

After knowing that I was pregnant with Bea3, people around me were expecting that I'd consider taking a live-in helper.

But no matter chaotic and messy the house is, I'm still adamant that we can do without one.

"So, who does the cooking?" the wide-eyed mother of one, that I met in the peaditrician's clinic almost jumped off her chair. She had a maid tagging along, and occasionally sighed while observing my two elder girls turning the place upside down.

I just said, if cooking needs to be done, I'd do it. And hubby can fry the eggs, and sausages sometimes;).

To me it is all about getting the kids to be occupied.

The elder kids kicked off with this project when I went in the room to get Bea3 to sleep and were done with it after I finished making dinner.


Both were very happy with the artwork.

Well, the dinner that I made, think a lot of people won't consider stir-fry-anchovies-prawns-mixed vege in 15 minutes as cooking.

But 3 of us really enjoyed it.


That's what I normally do when hubby has to work late. Depending on my mood, sometimes I do get freaked out with the thought that I'd be left alone with the girls. Then, those numbers of nearby pizza deliveries come in handy;).