Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Fun of having toddler(s)

Babies are the cutest creature, aren't they? I love babies since I was a small kid, and even planned to have my own even before reaching puberty, and before being aware of the process of getting one. I mean...all the work of finding the right man, the wedding and you-know-what (ahem). But what would happen when they, I mean the babies reach toddlerhood? Yes, I had that silly question. I'm sure everyone knows, toddlers can be really loud, and they are mobile and all the talks about 'terrible two stage' did intimidate me a bit. Would I love them as much as when they were babies? All those silly thoughts existed, off course before I become a mother.
Some of the new (or not so new) things that I observed from my Bea1 in the past week or two.

Scenario 1: Being patient
She was playing and suddenly felt thirsty, came running towards the kitchen asked for a cup of warm milo. I told her it was still too warm for her but she insisted. One sip, and she agreed with me. Ran back to the living and continued playing. About 15 minutes later, came back to the kitchen and drank a bit and said "Mama, dah sejuk dah" and continued drinking the rest of the milo.
She probably does not know the science behind it (but who knows, ya? I'm probably underestimating my kid), she will learn about it when the time comes. But she knows given a little bit of time and be a little patient, she will get what she wants.

Scenario 2: Knowing which one is better
One day last week, it rained cats and dogs that we decided to have dinner and did our prayer at IKEA before heading home. Bea1 was so excited. There was a huge McD restaurant just before the entrance of the Ikano Power centre parking. Normally my heart would skip a beat when we passed a McD. But all I heard from the back of the car was "We are going to IKEA, no need McD lah...."

Scenario 3: Being tolerant and true to her words
She had been pestering hubby to buy her new colour pens. She normally would grab the yellow bag and fill in whatever she wanted from the children's section (but off course got to be scanned by mama and papa, before reaching the counter). After playing for awhile, we announced that it was time to go home. She took the colour pens off the shelves, and as usual was reluctant to move from there. She picked stacking rings, saying that it was for Bea2. I reminded her, we've already stacking rings at home. She was still reluctant, I got down at her level, looked into her eyes and calmly reminded her that all she asked from papa was the colour pens (actually, it was more like this "Oh, please Beatrisya, papa and I just spent close to RM400 last month for your toys and the table set here, so not now...ok darling, puhleassssse"). Surprisingly, she stood there for a few seconds as if she was remembering something, put the rings back at its place and with a content look on her face, walked to the lift to go down to the exit.

These are only a few examples that make life with toddler(s) is exciting. Off course it also comes with other challenges. And no matter what age, think my kids will always be my babies.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Days after he knew....

m/Ng wrote this in his comment for my previous entry

"This is so fun where husband and wife can be like u guys. This is a great way to communicate at times where's tension and both party aren't in talking terms. Many times words are much better to tell things that we dare not or can't blurp out from out mouth.

Using blogs to talk when we are not in talking terms...nah, don't think I'd do that (though it may be a good idea for others). We talk a lot, we spent our first date talking for 26 hours non-stop (except for some 'silence' during the Deep Purple concert), so we hardly don't talk to each other even when are mad. Silent treatments that I normally created only last for a few minutes! Half an hour the most.

Anyway, some conversations are monologues. Me reason: Before we met: while he read Stephen Hawking's stuffs, I read geology, he read stuffs about aviation and stuffs I read geology, and now he reads the Quran and its translation, I either am busy with the kids, or watch CSI, or read geology again! But hey...that's my job!

We had a rather rare oppurtunity to have lunch, without the kids after watching Star Wars on Thursday.

papa22beas: *talking about time and space stuffs from Stephen Hawkings and some other names that I can't remember, relate it to Star Wars, the Jedi, the technology shown in the movie....a bit about George Lucas*...yadda, yadda

mama22beas: *gobble down black pepper burger while listening*...eh, see their onion rings are all in the same size, not like A&W's one!

papa22beas: *got interupted but did not say anything, continued yadda yadda...*

Many times, when he talked about his stuffs, I feel inaduquate...sometimes I wished that I could catch up when I have the time (and passion) to read more so that conversations won't be manologues.

mama22beas: I'm so sorry to interupt you like that...wish I can say something, but you know that I'm listening!

papa22beas: That's ok...I also am always quiet what, when you talk about your geology!

We know we are listening to each other, and so the monologue goes on....

Anyway, now my point for this blog: I used to think that he would not like the idea of blogging. Thought I would keep it as a secret but some blogs are so interesting that I could not help it but to share with him. Till one day he suspected that I had started one and asked for the url. Now that he knew, and looks like he is cool about it though I must be careful of things that I write.

Walking to the carpark after that lunch:

mam22beas: Simon blog something about people being too crazy about Star Wars...new names registered in Jab Pendaftaran Negara, one of them is Mohd. Anakin...

papa22beas: *chipped in before I finished* I like the chinese name the most...er, what Ben Oh Bee Wan.

Smiled from ear to ear, I had...knowing my dearest hubby even reads blogs of those who have commented in mine!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Hubby found my blog!

I found out that there is an addition to number of my blog readers (beaming with pride). You see, since he got to know that I started blogging he did ask me once for the url. I said I wanted it to be a little bit exciting and asked him to just work his brain a bit and look for it himself.
Then for 2 or 3 months he just kept quiet about it. He was not interested, I thought but I was not really bothered. But a few night ago, I asked him to help me change the bedsheet. The bedsheet has stripe print which is supposed to go parellel with the length of the bed. He should know it as we have been having it for 4 years already but still he fixed it perpendicular to it. I laughed when I looked at it said I would probably blog about it (I'd even love to blog about such a thing, oh no my blog is getting boring!). He just told me to go ahead.
Two nights after that, told him 5xmom said that she could see 'kote' from our baby scan pictures. A few days passed without any mention about blogs.
He had to work on Monday, and upon reaching home, he started a conversation.

papa22beas: ehmmm...you use that name ya? Looks like you really have a lot of free time now.
mama22beas: *overly excited* you found it! *but quickly get myself composed* And you'd been reading blogs all day when you were supposed to work (we had to postpone balik kampung trip...I mean MY kampung, as he had to go to be in the office that day).
papa22beas: Just read a bit only.
mama22beas: So, how did you get it? Google my name (I was just testing him)?
papa22beas: Where got? If google, only got your publications only (of my papers, theses...that means he had done it before). I went to 5xmom , tracked back her comments and I found you!
mama22beas: Wah...didn't know you are that smart (er...actually I did not know that. You see I'd know if I learn, of course if I spent more time on that, I would not have time to read other people's blog and do mine. I will do it, in good times...)

The next day after work, I was eager to find out if he read more. He said he did not have the time but he would do it and will comment as an "anonymous".

So, abe if you read this...enjoy, and I welcome any comments but please do it tactfully. If kenot, we settle it at home, ok!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Things that I let go.....

5xmom wrote this in her comment in one of my entries:

"...Sometimes, we so busy with being mothers, we forget we were an individual/woman/girl/child once"

That makes me look back and think again about the things that I did in the past. I knew when I said 'yes' (or rather "are you serious? Well that would be great!") to my man, life would definitely change. It changed a lot more when we decided to embark on parenthood.

I'm a geologist and geologists study rocks. The job takes them places and that is one thing that I like about this job. If before having kids, we (hubby has became a very efficient field assistant cum engineer cum cameraman cum driver cum 'kuli angkat barang') just packed and off we went to anywhere with a very short notice. But it is a lot different now.

Since I just started working in this department, at the moment I'm just applying for some grants to continue my research and while waiting for that, I'd just love it if someone can invite me to join/help out a bit with their project, something small ... a day-trip or somewhere that is possible to bring the whole locomative.

Upon voicing my attention, I received an invitation to study Sipadan. I almost jumped with excitement. While looking at the possibility to bring hubby and the girls along, I got to know that the trip is scheduled from 1st to 8th June. We had to withdraw as we have already some commitments.

Later I received a call from one of the professors saying that the second trip will be in September. I was so excited thinking with the time that we have, we can plan better. I spread the news to hubby, and here's part of the conversation:

mama22beas: Abe, you know what...they are going for the second trip in September. This time we sure can make it, right? I'm so excited already!

papa22beas: Aren't you forgetting something?

mama22beas: What ah?

papa22beas: When is your due date? Remember...your due date?

mama22beas: Oh sh*t...how could I not even think about it? September...I may not even get into any flight...ah well, preggo brain is at work.

Well looks like it is not going to happen. I foresee similar incidences in the future. Do I regret it? No, off course not...anyway, frankly I feel a bit dissapointed when I had to withdraw from something that has always been exciting, things that I would never get enough with. But how about motherhood...the joy is undescribable, the things that I have to let go is nothing compared to the joy that the kids bring. I know I also dissapoint people who see the potential in me, who have high hopes to see me successful in my career but I have made a point that I do things at my own time and pace, and in my own way. And to the head of the Sipadan project (the one who said I should stop at 2 kids) who just exclaimed "Masyaallah (what he meant was "what...AGAIN????")" minutes ago, I will prove something to him...one day!

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Yup, she is NOT potty trained yet!

While mumsgather 's blog gives me some encouraging words (that I'm not alone in this world), it also triggers me to blog about it.
Seriuosly, I'm not so worried about my Bea1 not being potty trained yet. I'm sure she will get there soon, maybe after seeing Bea2 (who shows that she is not comfortable being in diapers) happily using the potty. And I'm sure it will happen long before she enters college.
Anyway, it is the people around us who make me feel I'm a bad mom (or maybe I'm just exagerating) For example, this is part of the conversation that I had with a doctor during her stay in the ward:

Doc: (*wide-eyed*upon seeing the diaper) She is still in diapers?

mama22beas: She knows what is the purpose of the potty, she is just not interested to use it. She rather plays than being interupted to go to the potty (that's my girl)

Doc was not happy, think my girl was also slow in other development milestone (or again, maybe I just imagined it)

Doc: Does she talk?

mama22beas: Sure! A slow start but now a chatterbox, esp. when she is with me!

Doc: Can she draw a circle?

mama22beas: Yes sure, she actually did it when she was 21/2 years old. In fact now she draws faces, she even drawed a picture of the whole family.

Doc: Does she know ABC

mama22beas: Most of it but not all, but she is only 3 (hey I really don't care if other people kids read at 8 months)!

Doc: Can she climb stairs? I mean one at a time?

mama22beas: We stay at the 4th floor in a walk-up apartment, she climb up and down by herself.

Doc: Can she count?

mama22beas: We counted the steps together...there are 60 altogether!

Doc: She seems ok, but how come she's only lying down!

mama22beas: (*rolled eyes*) She's been sick and not eating for days, and I'm sure she is not happy seeing someone in a labcoat near her.

That's only part of it and from only one doctor, I got comments from the nurses too! Oh, well...maybe it is just me being too emotional!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Snippets from ROTU saga (Part 2)

While I'd love to blog about my family, what I did in the past also matters. One of the most memorable is ROTU. For those who are not familiar with it, it stands for "Reserved Officers Training Unit" a program by Kementerian Pertahanan Malaysia, to train volunteers from universiy students with some knowledge in military. It is a 3-year program, and at the end of it they will be commisioned to Second Leutenants. I have some photos of us doing the Merempuh Halangan, think I'd like to blog it first.

It was a competition among the 3 groups (or peringkat as we had Peringkat 1, 2 and 3). We were in Peringkat 2 during the competition. We had to pass through a few 'halangan' including 26 km run, the 6 and 12 foot wall, the monkey bars, crawling under barbeb wire etc and ended with shooting where the final marks were obtained. The group with the shortest time to finish was declared the winner.

There were 12 of us in a group, and 2 of them must be girls. I was chosen as one of them. I was not really a sporty type, but as I was also a shooter, I could be an advantage to get the final scores.

I was ok with the other 'halangan' but was almost flat when I reached the barbed wire.
crawling to victory
A crawl towards victory!
You see, there is no one behind me as the other groups are left far behind and all my friends are all way ahead of me. That is Capt. Azmi looks on me. He is the most good-looking officers, we were lucky to get him (ahem). If not because of me, we might come out with a better record, anyway it was still the best, according to our trainers. By the way, all these "Merempuh Halangan" were done with us carrying a 14kg backpack and a M16 (as you can see it in the photo) .

Me shooting
The final leg of the competition, shooting. I scored full marks for this, that compensated the delay that I'd caused earlier. Note that the cement floor was wet as most of us were all drenched as we also had to walk through some swamps and in my case, I fall off the monkey bars and down into the shallow pool under them.

Celebrating the victory
And yes, we WON! Here's a photo to commemorate the victory together with all the other trainers in our group. The other groups had not finished, so that's why you can't see the trophy there. Can see me or not? Look for someone who resembles Whoopi Goldberg (spelling?)...that's what my brother called me after each training session!
At my age now, I'm wondering where did I get all those energy to get involved in such activities! Anyway, I treasure every moment in ROTU and think I had made use of most of my time in the university in gaining not only a degree, but also a 'watikah' from the Agung.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

The first challenge at the new job

I'm officially a lecturer since May 3rd, teaching geology in one of the local universities. At the moment still have not started lectures as the new term will be only commenced in July. However, yesterday we have series of seminars where the final year students had to do a presentation of their final year theses. I was required to attend and evaluate their presentations.

I'm new in the department as a lecturer, but I'd been here for about 10 years. Did my first degree and my PhD. Left for a while to work in another university and returned to the same U but to another department. So, I'm quite familiar with what's going on. There were some changes on the system but most remain the same.

There I was, listening to the students. I applauded some of them for being enthusiastic with their work but some of them were doing it as if the presentations were something that they had to get over with. Some did not even face the audience, only read from the notes in their hands or the powerpoint slides.

I'm not saying that I was good, I was only an average student (I have my own reasons for that ;)) but having gone through sheer hardwork (that's what I thought, then. Now I can just laugh at it) for my thesis, I had shown my enthusiasm to show the audience what I'd been working at. I was nervous initially, but after getting comments I knew they were all to improve my thesis writing, I just felt great (the presentation is done before students finalise the thesis). That's why I later chose to further my studies.

I voiced it to hubby during the drive to our offices this morning. Think it is so common now that people get into university mainly to get a paper or two. His advice was it is now my responsibility to remind students that there are more than a piece of paper is needed out there, make use of their stay in the U to improve themselves, and not to think that piece of paper will promise them everything later.

That's just some exchanges with hubby. I have not even start my first lecture yet, so I may not have a clue of what I'll be facing in 2-month time. And gee....I write two blogs today!

I got him shaved!

Whoever watched "Somersby" must remember Jodie Foster shaved her husband, Richard Gere in one of the scenes. Looking at it, I was being mushy and thought I would love to shave my man one day (it was long time ago, and I had not met him yet).

Actually, a few times already that hubby indicated to me that I should learn how to do it. But we just could not find the time. He either did it in the bathroom or let the barber did it. A few nights ago, he again brought up the issue and I also was excited to give it a try. With two small kids and no helper, it is harder and harder to find time to 'manja' him, so that was an oppurtunity.

You see, I don't shave. I was blessed with legs which have very fine, thin hairs and for most people they said my legs are bulu-less. Well, for the other parts of the body, I just use tweezers and depilatory cream. So I never really shaved using the blade. I was a bit nervous, don't want my handsome (ahem) face hubby got cut.

Before embarking on the new experience, hubby asked me what did I know about shaving. Remembering a scene from "My Life" (you know that movie about a man, Tom Hanks if I'm not mistaken who was dying from an illness and recorded his life for his unborn child to watch. One part of it showing he showed his child the correct way to shave), I imitatated Hanks as he said "you should always do this (move the blade downwards) and not this (move horizontally)". Thought that was all, but gosh...how wrong I was!

Hubby just laughed and said I would learn that shaving was not that easy!

Being a multi-tasker that I am (ahem), I ran to the kitchen to just 'campak' all the ingredients meant for chicken soup for dinner. While letting it to simmer on the stove, I got hubby ready to be shaved. He lied on the sofa, with his head resting on the armrest and I sat on a chair behind it. The girls were kaypoh, curious of what mama and papa were up to but late found it boring and left us alone.

It was a messy start, I had the shaving foam in his hair and nostrils. Could not help it, I just giggled and hubby warned me not to get the blade near him with my shaking hands. I shaved downwards first. I did ok with the sideburn, and the chin, had a bit of problems with the moustache. Then, the real lesson took place. He asked me to feel with my hand, on the direction of the hair growth. From there, I should shave in the opposite direction. All this while I though hair only grow downwards! They were actually in all directions...no wonder I had to bang on the bathroom door to get hubby out of it on some mornings!

He taught me to feel in all direction, any rough surface means it needed to be shaved. I asked him was that the way the barber does, he said yes. And he only paid RM2 for that service. I wonder if all men shave like that. Anyway, I'm just glad that I don't have to shave.

We were done after about 20 minutes. He had to finish off with hard to reach place: under his nose. I was not sure if he liked my 'service' or not, he did not say anything but I will know later if he asks me to do it again. And I'd love to as part of our hard -to-get 'manja-ing' time.

He took his bath and by the time he was ready for dinner, the soup was already cooled at the right temperature. I could not help it, just could not stop staring at his cleanly shaven face...all done by me (or rather most of it!).

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Little baby in my tummy

Think I know how to put multiple photos in a blog already. I start off with the progress of this little precious being in my tummy....ohhhh I just love being pregnant!

These are printouts from scans in the ob/gy clinic.
Baby at 7 weeks in utero

At 7 weeks and only a little bud but already makes mama's heart filled with joy and excitement. I looked forward to the next appointment.

But I missed it (long list of excuses I have but they are all lame *shame on me*). By the time I was in the clinic, the baby was at 17 weeks already. And since I missed the last check-up, doctor printed two photos.

Baby at 17 weeks in utero

Grows fast in 10 weeks, see the head on the right and the ribs. It was amazing to see her/him moved, quite active already.

Baby at 17 weeks in utero

Baby turned a little bit to show shoulder and legs...love looking at it. Now just wait patiently to have her/him in my arms.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Snippets from ROTU saga (Part 1)

Me jaga benteng
Originally uploaded by rosfmuhammad.
Found a stack of old photos in my storeroom. Since I'm playing around with the idea of pasting photos with my blog, thought of just blogging it right away.

But still...how to link a photo from blogspot?, how to do it with multiple photos? Argh...lot to learn!

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Prior to the hospital stay

It started off with Bea2 having a fever on a Thursday morning. After one shot of paracetamol, she was ok till Saturday morning, on off till Sunday morning. Monday morning, I was surprised when I checked on Bea1, her temperature was 39.0 C. After giving her paracetamol, I brought both of them to UMMC. Since it was already passed 5 days for Bea2, the doctor took a blood sample. The result showed it was ok and she said she believed it was a viral fever and preferred not to give antibiotic. On Tuesday, Bea2 was basically ok but was still having some coughs. Bea1 was still having fever on and off, reduced appatite on Wednesday, almost not eating at all on Thursday and Friday, and became weak.

Here are a few things that a stupid mom like me did, that contributed to make situation worse.
1. Did not try hard enough to get medicine stay in Bea1's system: Bea1 hates medicine especially the cough syrup. Almost everytime it touched her lip, she would vomit everything out her tummy. To avoid seeing her weak of not being able to sustain food in her body, I gave it up.
2. She also hated the paracetamol, so I resorted to suppository. It was not provided by the hospital, so I just used the ones from pharmacy, paracetamol 225 mg. The box said, 1-2 sup. for kids 2-6 years old. Being paranoid of overdose, I only inserted 1 sup. every 6 hours. Thinking that it was the same case as Bea1, I thought it would just go away after awhile.
3. My parents were in KL on Tuesday and Wednesday. I brought both kids to meet them in Shah Alam and let Bea1 played outside with the other kids in the neighbourhood. Trying to get her to eat, we brought her again to Alamanda on Thursday. She could still run around but went straight to bed when we were back home. And still, she just could not eat. I spent sleepless nights, sponging her to reduce her temperature.

I went back to UMMC on Saturday, was scolded by the first doctor I met for giving a wrong dose of paracetamol. She should be given 250 mg or 2 sup. of 225 mg. That's why, the fever was on and off. She was a really 'garang' doctor, she even said she was worried looking at my 3 year-old still in a stroller. I told her, she was not eating for days and she was just weak. Otherwise, she is just like any normal kid. I was asked to get an X-Ray after she listened to her breathing, besides a bloodtest. Before leaving the room, with her firm and cynical voice she said "Itu lah awak, jaga sangat anak awak tu". She dared to say that to a sleep-deprived, hungry, worried pregnant woman, I was furious and sad at the same time but preferred to shut-up.

After getting the X-Ray, I could see a 'patch' on her right lung and I saw a 'pneumonia' word in the report. I did not understand the rest, but the word was like stab on my chest. I was pondering on what I had done, when a staff called and said that Bea1 had to be admitted. I broke down and cried, but felt better after talking to my always cool hubby.

Hubby arrived later that afternoon and said I sould have gone to the girls's regular pead in Damansara Specialist Hosp. instead. At least I would not get nasty remarks from the doctor, he said.

The doctors in the ward were just wonderful. One of them said, those outings that we did was actually a no-no. Bea1 was still weak, and being in a public places expose her to a lot of other microorgasm/viruses. She was having a lot of phlegm, and they would try to get them out by nebuliser, and sucking. They would continue with paracetamol and antibiotic. They could not confirm if there was any infection in the lung as it was a Saturday and the lab was closed. But despite being awful initially, instict told me that my little girl would be alright.